and she was a six

Normally, I hate tests like these.  I cringe at the phrase “what is your Myers-Briggs?” because I hate being put into a box, and also because they always seem pointless.

I was really excited, however, when I was asked to write this article about my enneagram because at least for me it explained something about myself that i had been trying to understand for a couple of years. That thing that I was trying to understand is a memory that I just couldn’t quite see why it had such a big impact. It was engraved into my heart.

So when I was in highschool, I went to homecoming with my good friend John. We had a blast at the dance, but something he said stuck with me. You see, my best friend arrived at our high school dance wasted and her boyfriend, at the time, was amused by this and he even abused the state that she was in. I immediately got her, took her to the bathroom, and tried to sober her up before anyone from the faculty found out, and before her boyfriend did anything else to disrespect her dignity.

Meanwhile, John had been hanging out with our friends, but he noticed what I was doing. Not long after my best friend started to sober up, she left again with her boyfriend. I was of course disappointed and worried. I think John noticed that I was upset that he asked me:

“Why do you care? You are not in charge of her.”

These words were engraved into my heart.

I am not telling this story to get a reaction of some sort of the classic highschool drama, but rather to show how my heart tends to work. I am a people loving- care taking -intensely loyal kind of person.  I am intensely loyal to my friends and my family through and through.

It didn’t matter that my friend went off to do something stupid every weekend. I stood there waiting to take care of her every time.

In a sense, I feel like being a six is in a way being a “brother’s keeper.” I know that the enneagram describes the six to be extremely fearful of being alone. I hated the enneagram at first because of this lowkey reality. It is true that I probably have been in friendships that should have ended much earlier than they did- or longer than most people would have had them been. However, I like to focus on how this fear has actually allowed me to be more free.

This fear has allowed me to empower others.This friendship was not healthy, but at the end of all of it, she always knew I was there for her. As for me, yeah I worry more than need be, but I’ve learned to conquer my fears through others who have showed me that I could do this. You see when a six finds a sturdy shelter that encourages them to fly we become free from all the bonds of insecurities and fears. It has been a battle within myself but my answer is found in being a loyalist to to myself as well as to others.

In hindsight, I wish I would have  given John the answer to why I care so much. It is so simple:

“It is because I love,
   I am not afraid to love, 
    And it is out of this love that I become free to be myself
      I’ve learned to be loyal to myself as I am to others.”  

Priscilla Gutierrez