Dear two,
I want to tell you something I’ve noticed. I know that receiving compliments isn’t your favorite thing in the world. In fact, I’m pretty sure you hate it, but I want you to know that I see you. So squirm all you want, but listen up.
As I’ve gotten to know you more, I’ve started to realize how truly beautiful you are. You have this uncanny ability to know exactly what I need when I need it. So many times, you’ve seen me struggling and asked me, “What can I do for you? How can I pray for you? How can I support you?” And the craziest part is, sometimes you know something is wrong before I do. It’s like you can read my mind or something.
You are the best kind of friend. You’re the kind of friend who will drop everything to be a shoulder to cry on. Sometimes we’ll just sit in silence together and sometimes you give me the best pep talk in the world. I never question whether or not you love me because you are always showing me with small acts of love: meaningful gifts, flowers, random little love notes… When we are trying to decide what show to watch or what kind of food to order, I know you’ll never tell me what you really want, because you are always giving up what you need so that others can get what they need.
You are so selfless, and I love that about you.
But I have to ask you something, when is the last time you felt seen and cared for? I know you feel invisible. So, hear me when I say, I see you.
I see how lonely and empty you are. How tired you feel after you give everything that you have and no one notices. Again. I see you silently working to earn their love and approval. I know the thoughts that run through your head. “Why doesn’t anyone care for me the way I care for them? When is someone going to see my suffering and drop everything for me?” I see you counting how many times you worked to care for someone and asking yourself, “When is it my turn? When can I rest?”
I know you’re exhausted. I know you’re exhausted, because I’m exhausted too. I know the fear that surrounds your heart. “Will they still love me if I can’t do this anymore? What if I need someone to take care of me?”
But, here is the thing you’ve missed. You, are a gift. Just you.
My love for you does not depend on whether or not you do the dishes for me so that I can rest.
My love for you does not depend on whether or not you do my laundry because you know that I hate it.
My love for you does not depend on how many times you rescue me from my current crisis.
I will love you when you need help. I will love you when you speak up for what you need. I will love you when you are running on empty and can’t do it anymore.
I love you and I see you.
So rest. Rest in this truth. You are loved and seen.
–your fellow two
People of the Enneagram 